he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
