I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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