YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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