My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Randomize
