They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
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