her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize