It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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