She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
This is classic penis vs brain.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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