I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
