Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
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god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.