if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.