I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
