I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.