If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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