you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
