Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
