This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
