Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
