I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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