Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I'm always down for nudity.
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