I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
