Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
