i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
