she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
