Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
