I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
