garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
