I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize