Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.