Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
You ate ashes out of my bong
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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