we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.