I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
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You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
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There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.