So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.