whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
