question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
