people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
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I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
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He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I believe in your delicious
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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