Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
