somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
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I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
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Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
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