That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
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