yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
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