meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
The beer is more important than you right now.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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