Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
