I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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