I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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