my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
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He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
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thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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