and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
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Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
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He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
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