Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
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