I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
