Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
