your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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