i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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