When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
