I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
