She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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