You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
