I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
