Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
