my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
nutella sex= disaster
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
