kristin has been a bad kristin
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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