My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
