She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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