why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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