I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
