I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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